She slept with 1000 men! Peggy Guggenheim was an extremely influential art collector and socialite, who participated in the salvation of thousands of works of art during World War II. She also was widely known for her sexual promiscuity. Guggenheim’s open embrace of her sexuality greatly defied the norms of her time, which tended to subject women to the roles of mother and homemaker, but her activities were not without scrutiny. Her career accomplishments were often overlooked, with people instead opting to cast judgment on her sex life.
Almost 80 years later, women to this day continue to face the scrutiny that Guggenheim faced, revealing deep-seated double standards toward women’s sexuality. Men are often praised and looked up to by their peers for promiscuity and high body counts, whereas women face societal judgment not only from men, but from each other, too.
This double standard is ever-present in the media, from social platforms to popular TV. Stark examples of sexual double standards were ever-present in season six of Love Island USA, which was streamed by millions of Americans during its run. In episode three, the cast participated in a game in which they revealed their own body counts and the ideal body count for a partner. For the preferred body count in a partner, most of the women stated that they didn’t have a preference, and if they did, it was a much higher number than their own body count. On the other hand, the men on the show tended to prefer their partners to have body counts exponentially lower than their own—Conner, with a personal count of 53, preferred partners with counts around 15, while Aaron, who had slept with 75 people, preferred 10. Coye, with a body count of 150, also stated a preference for 10.
In a scientific study titled “Lay Beliefs About Gender and Sexual Behavior,” the authors explore stereotyping enacted by both men and women towards women who engage in casual sex. They analyze the effects of the assumption that women who engage in casual sex intrinsically have low self-esteem, leading to negative discrimination in other areas of their lives. Another study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Review, “He is a Stud, She is a Slut!” reveals that women are slut shamed 30% more than men. Their findings included that “engaging in casual sex and having an early sexual debut were more expected and rewarded in men than in women.” They also found that overall, highly sexually active men are viewed more positively than highly sexually active women. These double standards, perpetuated primarily by a patriarchal society, benefit men by suppressing women’s sexuality through harsh judgment, so that men maintain control while alleviating their own insecurities.
The social costs of sex are higher for women than men in almost every culture. From online slut-shaming to Magdalene asylums—religious institutions for “fallen” (sexually promiscuous) women—women have been subjected to cultures of punishment and deep shame surrounding sex for centuries. Some cultures go so far as the practice of honor killings—the murders of daughters said to bring shame to the family through sex, a practice which dates back to antiquity that happens around the world, most commonly in the Middle East.
While there is no well-known word for promiscuous men, there exists innumerable terminology to slut shame women. Furthermore, society is constantly developing new terms, evolving from the classic “whore” and “slut” to Gen Z’s most recent vernacular “bop,” used to slut-shame women on the internet. Terms like “man-whore” and “man-slut” are merely variations of those used for women, diluting their impact and revealing a much weaker societal judgment placed on men.
Slut-shaming has been deeply ingrained in history and the media and has evolved to persist as a pervasive force in the real world. College, for many, is a time for exploration. In my short experience at Harvard, I have found that many boys are as quick to slut-shame as they are to sexualize. This is where the ultimate hypocrisy of slut-shaming lies. Is it only okay for women to be sexual when it fulfills something for their male counterparts?
I have witnessed my male peers unsolicitedly comment on the actions of their female counterparts. As someone who is relatively secure and confident in my sexuality, it is easy for me to brush past these commentaries; however, for many of my female friends, this affects their confidence and comfortability. These boys are often the ones to jump at the first chance to benefit from promiscuity. Whether the hypocrisy reflects their own insecurity or simple sexist ideals, the standards held for women reflect a double standard.
In reflecting upon slut-shaming and hypocrisy in college environments, the media, and in history, it is important to ask ourselves how we can individually and societally defy hypocritical moral conventions placed on women, moving away from the policing of women’s sexualities, and instead emphasize the importance of personal agency. We must become more accepting of people acting on what makes them feel happy, safe, and comfortable. Whether or not individuals choose to engage in sexual activity is their decision alone, and sex should never be a source of shame.
Mia Wilcox ’28 (mwilcox@college.harvard.edu) encourages more supportive discourse.