If you had asked me four years ago to envision my ideal 21st birthday party, I would have described a glamorous soiree like the one Rory’s grandparents threw for her in Gilmore Girls—my favorite show at the time. Two years ago, I might have dreamed of a birthday bash at Bar Enza. Two months ago, I envisioned a weekend ski trip in the Alps. So, when the time finally came, I did exactly that.
As I turned 21 while carving on the slopes of the Austrian Alps, I thought a lot about what it meant to celebrate a milestone birthday in a culture that doesn’t treat it as one.
Aside from a few childhood ski trips to Colorado, most of my memories of skiing come from the mountains of Northeast Ohio and New York (though I’m not sure the former are technically even mountains). With Ohio as a reference point, the panoramic views of the snow-covered Alps from the top of the Kitzsteinhorn Glacier nearly brought tears to my eyes. I had never seen such spectacular views in all my life. Throughout the weekend, I frequently got those moments irréels, and the environment added to the birthday excitement.
The day of my actual birthday, Sunday, Feb 23, was perfect. Like all good birthdays, it started with a 5:45 a.m. wake-up in Austria. My friend and I had to get a bright and early start to the day!
On the train to the mountain, I enjoyed overnight chocolate oats and sipped on instant coffee from a thermos—a far cry from the birthday pancakes my mom used to make for me and the free Starbucks drink I used to claim back home, but delicious nonetheless. I spent the morning traversing two mountains in the Schladming region, challenging myself with black diamond slopes and soaking in the views on blue catwalks. By early afternoon I was satisfied with skiing, and it was time for a part of European ski culture that does not exist in Cleveland, Ohio: après-ski.
I never thought that the soundtrack to my 21st birthday would be Auffe aufn Berg and other German après-ski hits, but until you’re dancing on benches in ski boots with new Austrian friends, don’t knock it ‘til you try it! Although unexpected, the music made for a fun vibe, and I was happy to be dancing away on my birthday and finding new favorite songs. In the mountaintop bar, the fact that I was turning 21 barely registered—it just didn’t matter here. In a country where people start drinking at 16, turning 21 is just another birthday.
It wasn’t until one of my new Austrian friends convinced the DJ to play Happy Birthday for me that I wondered, fleetingly, if the moment would’ve felt bigger back home. That being said, I did feel special to have an entire bar of people sing to me on my birthday.
I knew when choosing to study abroad in the spring that I would be celebrating one of American culture’s most important milestones away from home. What I hadn’t realized was that culture and its traditions aren’t defined by a place—they’re a mindset. To the Europeans in that bar, I was just celebrating another birthday, but to me and my American friend, it was so much more than that. Thousands of miles away from the U.S., we were still bringing the excitement and energy we would have had at a 21st birthday party in Cambridge.
In a country where turning 21 holds no particular weight, I discovered that I had the freedom to define my own meaning on this special day. It didn’t just have to be about drinking (there was no way I was drinking 21 beers on a mountain). It could be about whatever I wanted it to be. For me, the day felt like a celebration of the person that I’ve become and all the amazing things that lie ahead.
In a happy coincidence, Austria happened to be the 21st country I’ve visited—a fitting testament to how I’ve become someone who prioritizes traveling and enjoys exploring new places in the past few years. When I was younger, I used to dream of exploring far-off lands while reading about the adventures of travel writers, so it was satisfying to hit this milestone on my 21st (and also realize I’ve become a bit of a travel writer myself). That milestone, paired with the beautiful landscapes around me, served as a powerful reminder: the world is wide, and I can spend the rest of my life uncovering its beauty. A rather invigorating thought to have at 21.
My 21st birthday was my best one yet. The setting was unbeatable, and it’s hard to complain when your special day consists of skiing and sipping on spritzes. Yet even without the tangibles, what made the day truly perfect was my mindset. The weekend reinforced a lesson I’ve been learning throughout my time in Paris: the way we frame an experience is just as important as the experience itself.
I’ve found this through the creation of my “Paris Bucket List.” Something as simple as eating a croissant in a park becomes a monumental affair when it allows you to finally visit that famous boulangerie and have your first picnic in Paris. It’s a reminder that life is a collection of moments, big and small, and that their significance comes from the meaning we give them.
Some milestones, like turning 21, are culturally ascribed as big moments. But when you’re in a new culture, their significance can change. It’s in those moments that we have the opportunity to assign our own meaning to the events of our lives, and in doing so, we make our own milestones.
Frances Connors ’26 (maryfrancesconnors@college.harvard.edu) hopes to visit 100 countries by her 100th birthday.