1. INT. ADAMS HOUSE LAUNDRY ROOM – NIGHT The newly renovated Adams House laundry room. It sits empty in all its fluorescent, cluttered beauty. We are well into the witching hour. SEXY FUTURE PULITZER PRIZE WINNER enters the laundry room and begins to switch her laundry from the washer to the dryer. Shortly after, MALE […]
When the news first broke out, women all over the world stopped in disbelief. For the very first time, Willy Wank-a was opening the gates to his world-famous Rose Toy factory. 30 years after the creation of the life-changing sex toy, Rose Toy fanatics would now be able to see the production process and meet […]
I received my absentee ballot back in early October. I filled out most of it without hesitation. The School Board race was a no-brainer—“Jeff” was my mom’s friend. For the U.S. House, I picked the incumbent who had served my community for 15 years—“Mike.” But not all of my choices were this simple. I left […]
So. I’ve been feeling a little bit off-kilter lately, and with the perfectly-timed Weed Issue of the Independent, I have decided that this is the perfect excuse to engage in my favorite form of catharsis: writing while high off my ass. This week, I plan to get high and write every single night. (Okay, so […]
Editors’ note: this narrative contains graphic depictions of suicide and self-harm that could be triggering for some individuals. If you are having thoughts of suicide, or are concerned that someone you know may be, please reach out to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988, or text HOME to 741741 for support. […]
Trigger warning: mentions of suicide. We remember hospitals to be quieter than they truly are. Their hallways form “private rooms:” large spaces partitioned by sheets of blue instead of walls, so that while a patient might not see anything around them, they hear everything. Footsteps reverberate off the tiled floor while noise grows and fades […]
By the time Valentine’s Day rolled around, there were no anonymous notes slipped under my door and no bouquet of roses from a secret admirer. It seemed there was only one plausible solution to save my first Valentine’s Day at Harvard: Datamatch. Datamatch is a Harvard-invented matchmaking service. It started as a solution to Harvard […]
So, you’re disappointed about spending Valentine’s Day alone. Maybe you’re used to buying yourself chocolate, or maybe this is the first time in a long time you don’t have a Valentine. Either way, you’re dreading that inevitable pit in your stomach that will accompany seeing the countless affectionate Instagram posts and boys walking in Harvard […]
BY: SHAMELESS SHAKESPEARE ’27 It’s been too long since you’ve made me cum, It’s not your fault Zoloft’s making me numb. Still, though, a girl has needs And I don’t like to plead So I think we should have a threesome. Shakespeare’s sonnets fall short of describing The pounding in my naughty bits when I […]
every year when valentine’s day rolls around, i find myself questioning my current understanding of love. sure, this holiday is conventionally focused on secret admirers and forever soulmates. however, my upbringing, shaped by trauma rather than tenderness, leaves me wondering if i can recognize, let alone celebrate, such a loaded emotion. a few weeks ago, […]
