Growing up, we’re first introduced to sex as the pinnacle of love and trust in romantic relationships. As we get older, however, popular media and personal experience reveal how sex exists on a spectrum: one night stands, friends with benefits, casual sex, situationships, and yes, even in relationships. Here on Harvard’s campus, we’re exploring how students view their place on the sex spectrum, especially when it comes to the difference between sex with their classmates and sex with strangers.
Harvard’s social circles seem to run incredibly small despite its seemingly unlimited student body. Private dinner dates in the square or attempts to spontaneously leave Tasty Burger basement with a new potential lover rarely go unnoticed. You could easily walk past your Tinder match from the night before, and practically any hookup could end up in your section next semester. This critical characteristic of Harvard’s hook up culture forces students to choose their sexual partners carefully.
As one 2025 student puts it, “If I did have a random hookup here, it would turn out to be not that random… Eventually I would have to be around them or their friends.”
Sitting in Tatte for an afternoon rush-hour and listening to the constant hum of student gossip, it is pretty evident that news travels far and fast. Even people who hate the toxic gossip culture contribute to it. This must be at least part of the reason why, when preparing for Spring Break, students looked forward to meeting new partners who they knew with absolute certainty they would never have to see again.
Spring Break makes students question anonymity versus intimacy and lust versus love. Students normally praise the comfortability of sex with an intimate partner, which Spring Break rarely offers. As another 2025 student says, “I think there is a lot less pressure having sex with someone I don’t overlap with socially, but I also don’t find as much enjoyment in it. I think there’s a different level of comfort that you feel when you see the person on at least a weekly basis that makes the sex more exciting and comfortable.”
A Class of 2022 says, “When I’m having sex with someone I actually care about, I find that the desire to switch things up goes away. Just having sex with them in the most basic way feels super exciting and fulfilling because you actually have the emotional connection.”
Yet, as Harvard students flock back from break, conversations about Spring Break sexcapades flood into everyday conversations. Students recount the thrill of hookups with non-Harvard hotties and stories wilder than a typical campus weekend. Spring break trips offer one thing Harvard never can: anonymity. And anonymity cultivates adventure.
These sexual adventures contradict student’s self-indicated preference for sex with someone they know well, meriting a re-examination of the desire for sex with strangers.
One female 2025 student, says “Spring Break was the first opportunity for us to be surrounded by young college age students who don’t go to Harvard and don’t have any repercussion…You can have an intimate relationship with someone and have that kind of sex in your life but also desire the wild, clearly not emotional, fun-time type of sex and that is what I think Spring Break is for. For the fun, impulsive type sex.”
Sure, sex with a long-term partner is great. Intimate sex can even be fantastic. But the truth is, we’re taught to see sex solely as an ultimate expression of romantic affection. And romance in our day, specifically on this college campus, can be quite hard to find. Anonymous sex needs a place too, even if people are not fully willing to admit it.
We need sex propelled by lust, not love. We need the freedom of knowing that your kinks, favorite positions, playlists, toys etc. are kept secret by default. Spring Break offers Harvard students the chance to embrace sex for sex’s sake.
Despite self-declared preferences for intimate sex, anonymity still allures students. “I think one of the fun things about having sex with someone you don’t know is that you can see what they’re into and then you can try it cause they will automatically do that…That is an interesting way to experiment when it is not me coming up with it, and you aren’t doing it to make it more adventurous or more exciting. You’re just trying something out with someone cause they like it and its new and they ask for it”
Of course, there comes obvious benefits to smackin’ lips with the one you love. As a male Class of 2024 stated, “I think its definitely easier to have sex with someone who you know really well and trust. Sex with random people can feel ‘wild’ but lacks the intimacy of sex with someone you have connected with on a more personal level. People look to be ‘wild’ over Spring Break when they leave campus I think less because they are looking for easy sex and more because they have an opportunity to meet and connect with new people. I think a lot of people will say that they are willing to try new things in an anonymous sexual encounter, but for me I would be most willing to try new things with someone I am comfortable setting boundaries and exploring with as a team.”
Regardless of your Spring Break style, or even your choice in sexual partners, it is important to note that no singular form of sexual expression is incorrect or shameful. That’s what this issue is all about: the celebration of sex however one sees fit. Navigating sex in any capacity can be tough. Just remember you’re not alone; our preferences on that sex spectrum can change, and most of us are still figuring it out.