For a school focused on academics and post-grad success, sex often is an afterthought at Harvard. Internship interviews, CS 124 problem sets, HUM10 readings, MCAT studying—beyond our school obligations, many Harvard students do not give themselves the time or energy to build sexual relationships. But this is not just a trend at Harvard, as a decline in sexual activity is occurring on college campuses nationwide.
While some view casual sex as a natural and healthy part of young adult life, others worry that it can lead to negative consequences such as sexually transmitted infections and emotional distress. One Harvard sophomore, who chose to remain anonymous, said “It feels like people here want more sex, but some are afraid of what having multiple sexual partners could bring about.” Yet a lack of sex also adversely affects students’ mental health and relationships, as missing out on sexual experiences leads to feelings of loneliness, low self-esteem, and depression, which could be just as damaging as some of the risks associated with casual sex.
One anonymous Harvard junior described how the hookup culture at Harvard feels mutually exclusive. “You’re either in a super committed relationship and having a lot of sex, or you’re not in a relationship, and you’re never having sex,” they said. This pressure to go all in makes it difficult for those not interested in a serious relationship to find partners for casual sex. They continued, “For those who haven’t been in a relationship at Harvard, the campus feels super dry and lacks a hookup culture that you might be able to find at other schools.”
On college campuses, casual sex is often viewed as a way to explore sexuality and have fun without the emotional baggage of a committed relationship. As long as both parties consent and use protection, there are arguably few downsides with casual sex. So, why are more people not engaging in it?
Another Harvard sophomore who wished to remain anonymous said that they think that Harvard students care too much about other things to have strong opinions about hookup culture. “People here are so focused on success that they don’t care about going out of their way to find sex or serious relationships,” they said. “They want it, but are too lazy to take time out of other activities and put in any effort to find someone DTF (down to fuck).” Because of Harvard’s intense academic and career-oriented atmosphere, students tend to prioritize their studies over their romantic and sexual lives. “The only place to find something casual is Tinder, but something about that doesn’t feel right,” they continued. Although instant gratification can easily be found on these apps, people still desire to find sexual partners in person.
Another Harvard sophomore said that she would describe the hookup and sex culture at Harvard as “opt-in,” which highlights the vast differences in experiences students have when it comes to sex on campus. She implies that this culture may be more accessible than some people think. This suggests that while some students may feel that it is hard to participate in hookup culture, others may feel more empowered to choose what they want and don’t want to do. With such a wide range of attitudes and behaviors surrounding sex, it is difficult to get a comprehensive understanding of the sex culture at Harvard.
Without sexual intimacy, relationships can turn stagnant. And without physical connection, people can feel frustration and resentment towards the genders of the potential partners they feel attraction towards. When people want to have sex but cannot find partners, they may attribute their failure to others and become cynical about their prospects with the opposite gender. This lack of sex creates a sense of distance and disconnection between genders as people tend to withdraw emotionally or avoid sexual intimacy altogether when they have trouble finding it. But, finding a sexual partner in a time when people are having less sex is complicated and frustration should not be directed towards an entire gender.
With college students of the last three decades, sexual activity has decreased significantly, and Harvard is no exception. Whether it be a result of technology being integrated into relationships or increasing pressure to succeed academically, students are not having as much sex as they used to. American adults are having sex nine fewer times per year compared to the late 1990s, according to the nationally representative General Social Survey. However, it is still important to acknowledge that sexual desires and preferences are complicated, and that a decrease in sexual activity is not as concerning to everyone.
So, if you feel like you’re missing out and wish you were engaging in Harvard’s hook up culture more, do not worry. There are plenty of other college students in the same boat. And who knows? This trend may lead to a rise in meaningful relationships instead of meaningless hookups. Stranger things have happened on college campuses, after all.
Maggie Buckley ’25 (maggiebuckley@college.harvard.edu) writes News for the Independent.