The John Harvard
If you are the type for a good old-fashioned foot fetish, this one’s for you. Any worship of those lovely little piggies fits the bill. Please do not interpret this as support for the oh-so-infamous golden shower…unless you are really into that.
The Stacks
Great for a quickie in public, we recommend standing against each other, with the penetratee raising one leg for easy access (if there is penetration involved). Try to stabilize yourself with the penetrator, if there is one involved, have both feet on the floor and use the physics of counterbalance to remain upright, as no one quite knows how sturdy the stacks really are.
The Tasty Basty
The only thing this requires is that you use protection, because we all know how many STDs may be living on the floors of Tasty Basty. Practice safe sex, keep yourselves clean, and, if anything goes awry, HUHS is only a call (and a long wait) away.
The SpeeDSM
Get kinky with this one, as the Spee would encourage you to do. In this case, anything goes, so grab your leather and latex, and enjoy peeling each other out of your skimpy outfits before getting freaky with it.
The Neighbors Are Home
Want to do the dirty without the unfortunate soul who shares your wall listening in? Try a seductive, almost tantric position, dare I say. Lay in the spooning position and move slowly and quietly so as not to shake the bed. We are all far too familiar with that creaking sound, but if you get into this one, the horizontal movement makes much less noise.
The Harvard Independent
We all have those lonely nights, or mornings, or mid-afternoons. Look back in the Indy archives and find Becca Ackerman’s article on how to masturbate when you have a roommate. Grab some lotion or a vibrator, and enjoy the wondrous time you can have all on your own.
The Roomies Walked In
Did your roommate just walk in on you in the throws of it? Why the hell not invite them to join? (I would recommend this if it were not for the numerous blatantly obvious reasons why it is a terribly awkward idea.) If you have never had a threesome, this encounter may be an opportunity to check something off of the Rice Purity Test, and, well, you were both going to sleep there anyway.
The Crimson
Reliable, mildly boring, but trusty, I guess; I hope it is evident that I am referring to missionary. An obvious place to start, but people who prefer this clearly don’t belong to no one but themselves.
Written Anonymously for the Harvard Independent.