Housing Daze

A sorting quiz.

Harvard students are control freaks, so imagine how hard they must be vibrating knowing they have no say in what residential community they get placed into? You may not have any power over whether you can hope for a single your sophomore year or whether you need to reallocate your budget from Domino’s to mouse traps, but neither do we!

In spirit of saying things that have absolutely no meaning, much like when the administration starts making committees instead of moving forward with any actions, the Independent has come up with a Housing Day quiz to help you understand what neighborhood you should be in! Why study for the test you actually have on Housing Day when there are more pressing matters (and interesting quizzes) at hand?

How late are you to class?

1. I don’t go to class.
2. Harvard Time is a lifesaver.
3. I’m always there before the professor even shows up.
4. Did we have class?

Which “typical freshman class” did you get talked into taking?

1. LS1a – remember when I thought I was pre-med?
2. EC 10 – f*ck those textbooks, amirite?
3. SLS 20 – Love how Housing Day is a social experiment in who will study and who’s River Running.
4. Math 55 – haha just kidding, can you imagine?

What’s your favorite kind of study break?

1. Literally any time there’s food.
2. I just love seeing the community!
3. The one where your adviser just reminds you that you have a midterm this week and haven’t finished applying to summer jobs yet.
4. I’m screening my proctor’s emails, so I wouldn’t know.

Where is your go-to study spot?

1. Dining Halls – fuel up while you suffer.
2. Lamont – why limit yourself?
3. My room – who doesn’t love to give up and nap instead of work?
4. Widener – my mom would be proud!

How well do you and your roommate get along?

1. We’re really close. Like, literally, there’s only 4 inches between our beds because we debunked.
2. What roommate? I have a single.
3. We take turns sexiling each other so that we stay on good terms!
4. I haven’t seen them in a while but I hope they’re doing well!

If you could choose any mascot, what would it be?

1. Something intimidating, like a tiger or a midterm.
2. Something welcoming, like a puppy or Netflix adding your favorite movie to the line-up.
3. Something protective, like a bear or your grandma finding out you haven’t eaten all day.
4. Something chill, like a sloth or a senior after they just submitted their thesis.

With whom did you block?

1. I floated because I don’t like drama. I also still comment “fight me irl” on the Facebook argument I started and have a folder solely for screenshots bc I keep receipts.
2. By Halloween, I already had my blocking group in position with a couple friends in the queue as understudies in case my roommate started playing games.
3. My study group and I were busy finishing a pset and forgot that we had to find people to live with so we just submitted the form together. Both the pset and blocking survey were submitted at 11:59pm the night it was due, though.
4. I blocked with my freshmen roommates because the administration did such a great job pairing us together, and definitely not because I hated meeting new people!

Mostly 1’s – The Square

You’re so close to the Yard that you’ll feel bad about skipping those 10 am lectures, but not enough to actually get out of bed because if you leave you’ll have to climb back up those 3 flights of stairs when you get home. Seriously, why aren’t there any elevators?

Mostly 2’s – The Quad

You didn’t really like those kids down the hall from you freshman year anyway, so it is a good thing they got a River house, because you’re never going to see them again. Get ready to spend the next three years defending your house and reminding everyone that you have a single. You will either have the most toned legs by the end of sophomore fall or have planned your entire life around the shuttle schedule.

Mostly 3’s – River East

You know that you are as far from the Yard as the Quad, but don’t let anyone else know that! Yeah, you might have gotten lucky enough to swing a common room this year, but good luck convincing your friends to trek to your suite for a handle of Rubinoff. I’m sure your view of the river is really nice, though! Now stop posting it on your Instagram once a week.

Mostly 4’s – River West

Don’t take it too seriously that everyone thinks of Winthrop as the less-attractive and easily forgotten middle child. Or that Eliot is the obnoxious older sibling that doesn’t invite you to hang out with them and their friends. Or that Kirkland is the youngest that just wants to know why Eliot gets to do things they can’t, but gets away with way too much themselves.

Hunter Richards (hrichards@college.harvard.edu) hopes this quiz is curved!