How to Stay Abreast: Sadie’s Senior Year Suggestions
Graphic by Kerrie Zhu
Hey Shitstains,
What a whirlwind it has been since we last spoke! For new readers, I went abroad to Paris last semester, and I won’t shut up about it. I traveled across Europe, met incredible people (including Harry Styles), had my apartment robbed, and finished the term a die-hard Francophile.
So where does that leave me now? Well, one might say I’m a washed-up 22-year-old senior whose best years are behind her. My mom would just call me dramatic.
Studying abroad felt like a simulation. I played the part of an adult, managing some life responsibilities, yet my occupation was still that of a student. In contrast, Harvard—or really any college—is a glorified playground. Yes, some of my peers are curing cancer or may go on to win Nobel Peace Prizes, but in these last few years of life-limbo, I challenge everyone to enjoy the low-stakes stage, (especially seniors since it’s our last chance).
You might be wondering: what’s the point of this cheesy, obvious mishegoss? After my own fantastic stint in the “real world,” I feel the need to be extra present on campus, to delay the inevitable senioritis. The entire Class of 2026 will probably encounter this feeling at some point. God knows I’ve had it since my sophomore spring. But if we come together as a school, a grade, and a community, I’m confident this year will be our best yet.
In the spirit of guiding our class forward (and serving as an inspiration to others), I am pleased to introduce “Sadie’s Senior-Year Suggestions:”
Post On Sidechat At Least Once Before Graduation
Sidechat is toxic. Sidechat promotes bullying. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Wrong. Sidechat is the best thing to ever happen to our historic campus. Period. Nothing brings the community together quite like the rush of liking (or disliking) something you relate to.
Let me provide some evidence for my statement: Does everyone remember the cheating scandal with the CEO and Head of HR of Astronomer at the Coldplay concert? That singular moment of hilarious “sin” brought together the entire internet in a time of war, famine, and injustice in our world. Sidechat is our campus’s Chris Martin, and so dare I say, [cold] play on.
Be Sober at One Party
As my friends know, I am not much of a drinker. Do NOT get me wrong—I love a libation here and there—but getting shitfaced really isn’t my thing. Sometimes, especially at darties, I do not drink.
And let me tell you with confidence: it’s a wonderful, hilarious, and frightening experience. The people-watching is TOP-tier: I have witnessed everything from small fights to America Ninja Warrior-worthy wipeouts. Besides the entertainment, I leave the function feeling crisp, fresh, and ready to take on whatever evening plans come my way.
Go on a Date
Why do so few people go on real dates at Harvard? Sharing a meal in the dining hall doesn’t count. I mean the real deal—an old-fashioned: Hi, would you like to grab drinks this Thursday night?
Yes, rejection is embarrassing—God knows I’ve both dished and doled my fair share—but think about how awesome it is if it works out. Worst-case scenario: the “askee” is flattered by the invitation, and the asker dies of mortification for five minutes max. Personally, it was a hot-girl-date summer—so why not carry that same fun energy into the fall?
The Holy Trinity
There are many undergrad traditions at Harvard, but the infamous four are: peeing on the John Harvard statue, running naked in the Yard for Primal Scream, hooking up in the Stacks, and jumping off of Weeks Bridge. If you do any of the four pre-grad, that’s your business, as neither I, nor my editors at the Harvard Independent, can condone such behavior. That being said, I’m scared of heights, so I call this suggestion the Holy Trinity for a reason.
Develop a Niche Hobby
For the rest of your life, a conversation will lull and you’ll be asked about your hobbies. After interning at “The Tonight Show” this summer, I learned that making side-by-side collages of people and cartoons or objects is not a hobby—even if it perfectly expresses my interests and character. So now I’m working on a new one: something I am both good at and that is conversationally interesting. Current contenders: making silly videos (spoiler alert) or taking up the mandolin.
Take a Class With Under 12 People
I’m a Romance Languages and Literatures concentrator, one of the smallest departments at Harvard. Yes, fewer people in a course means it’s more obvious when you don’t complete the work, but it also means your best contributions go further in class discussions. Safe to say most of my readers are nerds and relish a unanimous round-table nod of approval from peers after a killer comment. Moreover, I think the department’s classes are sized perfectly: small enough to bond, big enough to hide (and/or hide your hangover).
For example, my freshman seminar, “ENGL S-185 Wit, Irony, and Comedy,” had exactly 12 students and happened to be my favorite course at Harvard. No one took the class too seriously, so we all became best friends and still text in our old groupchat.
Attend a Singular Sporting Event (Harvard-Yale/Brown do not count)
Sophomore year, a group of friends and I “tailgated” our friends’ field hockey game. We drank, made posters, and marched to the field more spirited than ever. Unlike Harvard-Yale, I actually made it to the game and loved all four quarters of chant-yelling spirit. With rockstar Fiene Oerlemans ’26 as a captain, I’ll definitely be making it to more than one field hockey game this season, cardboard-head cutout in hand!
Become Close to a Professor
Given the particularly small size of my concentration department, I am exceptionally close with the professors and staff. They hear everything about my life: section-kid complaints, boyfriend drama, and schemes-future. These relationships mean the WORLD to me, and I know I’ll be in touch, or dare I say, friends, with them forever.
When we come back for our 30th reunion, certain professors will still be around—and you’ll be glad you stayed connected.
So, I challenge students from all grades to take my suggestions to heart. While my senior year has just begun, I hope the wisdom of my old age provides guidance for whatever stage you’re in at Harvard, or beyond.
To the Class of 2026: We have one year of childhood left. Let’s play!
Xoxo,
Sadie
Sadie Kargman ’26 (sadiekargman@college.harvard.edu) is currently a senior Shitstain on campus and the host of the new Indy video series, “Are You Abreast?” New content dropping every week!