I wandered around a hospital parking lot blasting
that one Mountain Goats song on repeat
at 3:30 in the morning. This time last year
I chain smoked along the Charles
trying to suck out the thing that didn’t necessarily
claw at my insides but scratched
every now and again just to remind me
it was there. Sometimes I wake up coughing blood
and wonder what damage has been done
overnight. Sometimes I stain my sheets
and don’t remember how all this blood
got inside me in the first place. I wandered around
that hospital parking lot because
they said that something broke inside her blood,
and I figured I had extra she could borrow.
Or keep. Or throw away, I’d still give it
in a heartbeat.