Harvard student athletes often claim that playing a sport is like having a full-time job. Between lifts, practices, and team meetings, players on the same team spend countless hours together every week. This time commitment doubtlessly conduces unity and camaraderie between athletes—but does it inhibit them from exploring their romantic side? Is it better for an athlete, burdened with a rigorous, twenty-hour practice schedule, to seek a partner in an individual with whom they share the interest of athletics? Or perhaps it is better for athletes to date non-athletes, the latter of whom can shape their schedules around that of their athletically-inclined partner?
“I would say it’s hard dating someone who isn’t an athlete,” said Women’s Lacrosse player Chloe Provenzano ’24. “I find that athletes tend to have conflicting schedules which make it more difficult for them to date. In that regard, I would argue that it might actually be easier for an athlete to date a non-athlete, but at the end of the day, most Harvard people are extremely busy people and have responsibilities that would certainly challenge the foundations of any relationship.”
In addition to the scheduling conflicts that impact athletes’ abilities to find time to socialize, the amount of team bonding and subsequent social groups that are formed from doing so lead to several outcomes in socializing.
“I wouldn’t say athletes date athletes primarily because of their schedules but more so because they travel in similar social circles. Every athlete has a different schedule: some sports practice in the morning and some in the afternoon so it could be even harder [to date] if both people are athletes since they have busy schedules that don’t line up. But athletes can be more understanding of each other’s busy time commitments than [non-athletes],” said an anonymous student athlete.
Yet these extracurricular barriers, however transparent they might be, don’t always prohibit NARP-Athlete relationships from forming.
“I find that almost everyone who I’ve talked to romantically has played sports, been an athlete, or is still connected to athletics,” said Women’s Soccer Player Hannah Bebar ’24. However, “It is not hard to date someone who isn’t an athlete because although they may not experience the same time commitment, dedication, or stress of athletics, [non-athletes] aren’t ignorant of [such factors.] I’ve found that sometimes guys who aren’t athletes are more understanding than some athletes and are less conceited.”
“I love having a boyfriend who is also a Harvard athlete,” said Women’s Lacrosse player Stephanie Hong ’23. “It wasn’t a factor that I considered at all when I started dating him but I think that it has been a super big and interesting part of our relationship. He has definitely really helped me in terms of my sport… and I’ve learned so much from him.” Hong also said she had never heard of fencing as a college sport before she met her boyfriend, but the more she learns about it, the more she realizes it is “a super cool sport!” Her boyfriend’s passion for his sport makes their conflicting schedules worth it: “I know he is doing something that he really loves and has worked really hard on.”
Yet despite the appreciation that non-athletes might be able to acquire for their athletic partners, the reality is that time commitments do create an unavoidable obstacle in any relationship.
The trend exists beyond Harvard’s student body. Bates College junior Richie Nuzum, who has dated a Bates Women’s Lacrosse player for over three years, finds that dating a college athlete requires “a level of dedication that’s certainly not for everyone, and certainly not for me.” However, he enjoys witnessing his girlfriend’s commitment: “Seeing her do lacrosse everyday and love it everyday is something I appreciate. It can be challenging at times considering the craziness of her schedule, but I try to be supportive in every way I can. It pays off when I get to root for her and see her succeed on the field.”
While some athletes seek romantic solace in the arms of peers with similar athletic interests as their own, other athletes join hands with less coordinated members of the student body. At Harvard, where individuals, irrespective of their membership to an athletic group, are constantly engaging in pursuit after pursuit, finding time for love appears like an almost impossible proposition. As it turns out, however, romance is alive and well in Cambridge. Love can conquer all—even arduous athletic schedules.
Will Goldsmith ’24 (willgoldsmith@college.harvard.edu) writes for the Independent.