Top Ten Red Flags
Here at the Big H, you undoubtedly will rub shoulders with some budding students: future politicians, Nobel Peace Prize winners, acclaimed artists, and maybe the next Mark Zuckerberg. But your Crimson classmates undoubtedly have red flags, too…
10. They live in the Quad
– Kya Brooks ’25, Theo Taubman ’26, Amiya Tiwari ’26, Cole Yellin ’26, and Lily Liu ’25
9. They wear a CS50 Puzzle Day shirt unironically
– Jen Yu ’25, Carly Brail ’26, Allegra Wong ’26, El Richards ’26, and Alexandra Dorofeev ’25
8. They don’t wear shoes in the Weld communal shower
– Mimi Koenig ’25, Max Menin ’26, Annelise Fisher ’26, and David Li ’25
7. You met them in Tasty Burger Basement
– Maddy Tunnell ’26 and Angel Wan ’26
6. They text “u up?” past Brain Break hours
– Rowan Mally ’26, Gauri Sood ’26, and Riya Kapoor ’23
5. They added you on Linkedin
– Kate Kadyan ’26, Zayid Alam ’25, and Azusa Lippit ’26
4. They schedule their hookups on Google Calendar
– Kate Kadyan ’26, Zayid Alam ’25, and Azusa Lippit ’26
3. They have navy blue bed sheets
– Isabelle Behring ’26, Georgina Younes ’25, Matt Melucci ’26, and Reeve Sykes ’26
2. Their favorite acronyms are IB, PE, MBB, SWE…
– Kate Kadyan ’26, Zayid Alam ’25, and Azusa Lippit ’26
1. They go for the pre-frosh during Visitas
– Clara Corcoran ’25, Jessie Liu ’24, and Adedoyin Adebayo ’26
BONUS
They’re not comping The Indy!
– Everyone
Top Ten Green Flags
Now imagine the cup half full. What are the praiseworthy traits of Harvard students? Maybe your suitemate is taking Math 55A or HUM10. Maybe the section kid in EC10A just updated their Linkedin with their new summer experience. But what about the things that really matter here at Harvard?
10. They have a top sheet on their bed
– Maddy Tunnell ’26 and Angel Wan ’26
9. They have a Department of Athletics sweatshirt that you could steal
– Isabelle Behring ’26, Georgina Younes ’25, Matt Melucci ’26, and Reeve Sykes ’26
8. They’re willing to walk to the Quad for you
– Kya Brooks ‘25, Theo Taubman ‘26, Amiya Tiwari ‘26, Cole Yellin ‘26, and Lily Liu ‘25
7. They gives you notes in section when you haven’t done the reading
– Jen Yu ’25, Carly Brail ’26, Allegra Wong ’26, El Richards ’26, and Alexandra Dorofeev ’25
6. They’re brave enough to sexile their suitemates
– Franny Connors ’26, Alex Carlin ’26, Asher Chamoy ’25
5. They use their Board Plus to get you coffee
– Kya Brooks ’25, Theo Taubman ’26, Amiya Tiwari ’26, Cole Yellin ’26, and Lily Liu ’25
4. They protect you from the roaches in Eliot House
– Clara Corcoran ’25, Jessie Liu ’24, and Adedoyin Adebayo ’26
3. They call their mom but not every day
– Kate Kadyan ’26, Zayid Alam ’25, and Azusa Lippit ’26
2. They have been featured on Dean Rakesh Khurana’s Instagram
– Jen Yu ’25, Carly Brail ’26, Allegra Wong ’26, El Richards ’26, and Alexandra Dorofeev ’25
1. They have a single
– Isabelle Behring ’26, Georgina Younes ’25, Matt Melucci ’26, and Reeve Sykes ’26