More often than not, I love spontaneity. However, a weekend getaway spontaneously becoming my first-ever solo trip was not the type of spontaneity I typically embrace. As a person who “doesn’t usually seek out alone time,” I was about to embark on a four-day weekend in Madrid, Spain completely on my own. I confronted this reality as I sat dreary-eyed in the Charles de Gaulle Airport at 5 a.m. last Friday. My lack of sleep did not deter me from feeling excited, albeit anxious, for the coming weekend. After four days of tapas and tapping into my confidence, I realized that solo travel is an amazing way to have an adventure and learn more about yourself.
After landing in Madrid on Friday morning, I got into the city at 10 a.m. and had a few hours to kill before my 3 p.m. hostel check-in. As I stepped out of the Metro station, the colorful buildings were the first things to catch my eye. In temperature and color palette, Madrid was already much warmer than Paris. My first stop was Natif Coffee, a spot a friend had highly recommended. As excited as I was to lounge in their café, the Friday morning brunch rush and the small size of the café quickly sent me searching for somewhere with an open table. I decided to head to Toma Café, and I reveled in my ability to make such a quick decision without needing to consult anyone else. The tone of the trip was set: I was on my own schedule. I pushed any thoughts of anxiety out of my head and embraced the opportunity I had to explore a new city.
Natif’s lack of tables turned out to be a blessing because I fell in love with Toma and pan con tomate, Spain’s famous tomato toast. For the first time, I truly understood how olive oil and salt can enhance a flavor as they brought out a perfect brightness in the tomatoes. With every bite of the warm, toasted bread and crushed tomatoes, I was in heaven. I savored the toast, pacing myself so that I finished it right before I finished the work I had in the café.
After breakfast, I meandered around the neighborhood, guided by both art gallery locations on Google Maps and my heart’s desire. I turned down streets that looked interesting and popped into bookshops and vintage clothing stores with intriguing window displays. When I was finally allowed into my room at the hostel, I promptly slept for three hours. So what if I was losing time to explore a new city? I was tired, so I needed to sleep. Having full control over my time in Madrid brought me immense satisfaction, and I relished the freedom of not being burdened by the need to follow someone else’s ideal timeline.
After waking up, I faced the first real challenge of my solo adventure: eating dinner alone. “¿Una mesa para uno?” “A table for one?” I asked the waiter at Lamiak, a tapas spot in the bustling La Latina neighborhood. After a few minutes of waiting, he sat me in the middle of an eight-person communal dining table—a good spot for talking to new people, I thought.
At first, I felt awkward. What are you supposed to do when dining solo after placing your order? Loneliness started to creep in as I looked around at all the groups of friends sharing laughs and enormous tapas spreads. I feared that strangers were judging me for sitting alone. My solution to these feelings was to get busy. I whipped out my pocket sketchbook and started drawing the plants and lamps on the table across from me, which bided the time until my tapas arrived. I had ordered a chicken taco and an olive and chili skewer with an anchovy filet, but the restaurant soon served me something far more fun in the form of new tablemates.
A few bites in, three French people sat next to me, and one of them asked me in English which tapa my taco was. I answered them in French. They were delighted to meet another francophone, and we were off to the races. We spent the next two hours chatting in a mix of French, English, and Spanish about Madrid, Paris, cultural differences, and life in general. Ironically, I was finally putting my 13 years of Spanish classes to use with two French expats living in Madrid. French ended up being our lingua franca—our common language—since the third Frenchman was the only other English speaker. I felt a deep sense of pride at the fact that I was confidently becoming friends with strangers halfway around the world in a language that I only started learning two years ago.
It seemed that French was following me around the city because the next day, in a cooking class, I met two girls from Paris studying abroad in Madrid. Because they didn’t speak English, they only talked to me and another student who knew French. After the class, we all got churros con chocolate nearby. Had I not been alone, I probably would not have invited them along. I learned that friends are easily made when you choose to start talking to people. It also helps to speak another language or two!
It was no surprise that traveling alone would test my confidence, but I did not realize that it would develop my self-assurance as well. Setting one’s schedule is a double-edged sword. When you have ideas for plans, no one can knock you off your course, but when you don’t have ideas, no one can set you on the right path. Indecision plagued me on this trip. On Sunday evening, I wanted to drop into the Prado Museum after an awe-inspiring visit on Saturday, but the line wrapped halfway around the building because of free entrance on Sundays. I got in line but was torn between staying or leaving to find a rooftop to watch the sunset. The clock was ticking as I struggled to make up my mind, wishing I had someone there to choose for me. At last, I left and speed-walked to somewhere with a higher altitude. I was rewarded with the most beautiful sunset of the trip complete with El Palacio in the background, and immediately, I knew I had made the right choice.
This trip prompted me to think a lot about how I make decisions in my life. So often, indecision arises from a desire to maximize positive outcomes or minimize pain. We fail to realize that when two choices are good options, we can be happy either way. The stress of choosing can take away from this happiness, and we’re better off picking one and putting our energy towards making it the best it can be. I made countless decisions about how to spend my time while in Madrid, telling myself each choice would be amazing because I had made the decision myself. I still faced indecision, but I learned to become more sure of myself while on my own. Now that I’m back to life in Paris, I’ve maintained that self-assuredness, focusing on what can go right with every decision.
I’m glad I went to Madrid alone. It allowed me to explore the city at my own pace, and it pushed me to seek out connections in new ways. I left the trip feeling more confident in myself and my ability to do hard things and make decisions. For the rest of my time abroad, I don’t have any more solo trips planned, but I’m looking forward to the joys of traveling with friends and family. While I explore new places with the ease of company, I’ll take the lessons learned from solo travel to enjoy each trip as a better version of myself.
Frances Connors ’26 (maryfrancesconnors@college.harvard.edu) almost started pronouncing the letter s with a Spanish accent after this weekend.