The Holy Trinity of Highs, Ranked

“Edible, joint, or bong?” Asking this question is sure to spark fierce debate between anyone and everyone partaking in April 20 festivities, from people lighting up for the first time to veteran stoners. These three forms of weed are backed by a loyal network of advocates. But is there an objective answer to the age-old question of which sits at the top of the smoker hierarchy? Probably not: each form has associated strengths and deficiencies. How one chooses to weigh these factors is usually a matter of personal preference. That said, I will attempt to convince you of the superiority of my preferences.

#3: Edible

At the bottom of the list lies the edible, a simple, if controversial, choice. The edible is a stand-in for any ingested form of weed, such as baked goods or gummies. The edible’s ease of consumption makes it a popular choice for non-smokers, and its discreet appearance makes it convenient in situations where discretion is necessary. Its simplicity has rendered it an increasingly popular form of consumption, particularly for first-time users.

However, it ranks last on my list for good reason. Even when baked into sweets such as brownies, edibles taste unpleasant at best, often nauseating. This is particularly true of gummies: despite their vibrant colors and fun flavors, no amount of dye or sweetener can change the fact that you are eating weed, a substance that just tastes nasty. Could this be because the last few edibles I’ve taken were from my friend, who failed to inform me that they were months past expiration until after I had taken them? Perhaps. But the point still stands.

More crucially, my dislike of the edible is centered around the fact that its effects are unpredictable. Because it depends on how quickly your body metabolizes the edible, it can take anywhere from half an hour to over an hour and a half to feel its effects. Different circumstances call for different highs, and the delayed onset of the edible makes it difficult to control just how high I’m getting. I’ve definitely never made a fool out of myself with the “this edible ain’t shit” phenomenon: questioning the efficacy of the edible I’d consumed one minute, only to find myself soaring the next…

#2: Bong

Sitting in the middle of the list is the bong. Bongs rely on the fundamental principle of using a vacuum to draw smoke through cooling water and into your lungs for a smooth hit. Not to be confused with hookahs, bongs come in a variety of shapes and sizes, all of which have a story behind them. As an experienced bong user, I’ve taken hits from a range of bongs—from those that could be mistaken for chemistry lab flasks to a gravity bong my boarding school roommates and I constructed out of a plastic water bottle and a strip of aluminum foil. I’m no engineer, but that was probably the best-designed, homemade bong the world has ever seen.

The main appeal of bongs is that the water cools and filters much of the impurities in the smoke, which makes hits go down smoothly. Another key advantage of the bong is the aesthetic appeal—it allows for creativity and customization of its appearance.

Unfortunately, this point about reusability relates to my hesitation in awarding the bong the top spot. While bongs stay in commission for longer, throughout their lifespans, they inevitably get filthy, even with regular cleaning. Putting your lips to a cloudy, ash-ridden bong is humbling for even the most strong-hearted potheads and does require a certain tolerance to enjoy.

#1: Joint

The joint confidently tops my list as the best form of weed. Joints are relatively new, introduced centuries after the earliest observed bongs and ingestible cannabis. Whether you are a proficient roller or rely on your local dispensary’s pre-rolls, joints offer a sleek and portable middle ground between edibles and bongs. Recent innovations in weed production have even resulted in unique strain combinations that truly make you wonder how they were manifested. The “Rainbow MAC”—which is obviously an abbreviation of Rainbow Miracle Alien Cookies—I shared with a friend last week, comes to mind.

I concede that the joint’s measly filter does lead to harsher hits than a bong. But hey, a burning throat is nothing I can’t handle. Also, unlike the edible, joints take effect quickly, and you can easily control the extent of your high—I know exactly how much I need to smoke to achieve different highs and can regulate this on a hit-by-hit basis.

What cements the joint’s place at the top is the social dynamic of a well-curated rotation. While the bong theoretically allows you to pass it around, the rhythmic “puff-puff-pass to the left” is so defining and central to cyphing, and it outclasses any social connection that can be formed over other forms of weed. Several people have gone from being total strangers to my friends in one night, sharing a fabled bond over being in the same rotation. Each passing of the joint symbolizes a sense of intimacy, or an invitation to connect. For this reason, the joint proudly earns the top spot of my ranking, a position I imagine it will occupy forever.

Ultimately, no matter how you get high, your method can say a lot about who you are. Edibles reward patience, bongs offer a smooth but adventurous experience, and the humble joint promises connection and friendship. This April 20, I know where I’ll be: joint in hand, surrounded by friends, watching the sun set over the Charles. Hopefully, your celebration will be equally memorable, as long as it doesn’t end with “this edible ain’t shi—.”

Indica Jones ’28 can be found lighting a joint by the Charles.