Some may crown sliced bread or the internet as humanity’s greatest invention, but that title belongs elsewhere.
Instead, mankind should be lauded for the shotski.
This beautiful device features four shot glasses attached to a ski; that’s it. Simple, yet it elevates the experience of taking a shot to a whole new level. What better way for you and three of your best friends to engage in debauchery than with an old ski?
I realized this past semester that my old ways of shot-taking were basic and uninspiring. People try so hard to spice it up—intertwining arms, saying arriba, abajo, al centro, pa’ dentro, giving big speeches. I needed a change, and what better way than to build my very own shotski. The upcoming Harvard College Housing Day tradition, River Run, was the perfect excuse—I mean, inspiration—to make this contraption. Join me as I walk through my process (the good, the bad, and the ugly) in crafting my very own shotski.
Friday, Feb. 27
I began my journey to make this device, but the only problem was that I didn’t have my base material: skis. I sure as heck wasn’t going to cut into my Vokls. So I did a nice scroll of Facebook Marketplace and found a pair for $25. I messaged the seller and set up a time in the next week to pick them up.
Tuesday, Mar. 3
The day of the pickup. Transport was the first hurdle since I wasn’t going to pay $30 there and back for an Uber to Brighton. Luckily for me (or as you’ll soon learn, unluckily), I have a scooter. But my 10-minute scooter ride after class quickly turned into a 20-minute slog because of a nasty ice storm. Though I can’t say I recommend the journey, I toughed it out and texted the seller that I was five minutes out from our agreed-upon pick-up spot. I was met by a dismaying response. “Crap, I forgot them, I don’t even know how, but they’re not in my car,” they wrote—with an important follow-up: “I’m so sorry, I left them in Maine.”
So there I was, pelted by hail and discouraged from my travels, turning my scooter around and heading home. It’s safe to say my first experience with buying skis was not a great one.
Monday, Mar. 9
Knowing my recent Facebook Marketplace experience was not going to deter my final objective, I messaged yet another seller and quickly set up a pickup time. This seller lived a five-minute walk from the Somerville Porter Square T stop, so neither a scooter nor an Uber was necessary. Pickup was easy; they left them on their front porch, and I left $30 cash. I proceeded to order the materials for the rest of the production: magnets, epoxy, washers, and shot glasses—this isn’t just any old shotski. Now for the actual fun part: the engineering.
Thursday, Mar. 12
It was the day before Spring Recess, and I had minimal homework, so I said to myself, “Let’s craft this shotski.” After scooting one of the skis to the Science and Engineering Complex Makerspace, consulting with Makerspace Manager Joe Kile, and removing the ski hardware, I began cutting 1 ⅛-inch holes. I quickly realized that the drilling might be the hardest part of the project. Though the skis had wood cores, they were layered with metal and fiberglass. Metal trying to drill through metal … not a fun task; breathing in fiberglass … not good. I made it partway through my first hole, lost motivation, and decided to call it a night.
Friday, Mar. 13
Revitalized by spring break energy, I returned to the makerspace. With assistance from Kile, I discovered how to cut through two holes. With a pulsing motion, the drill was able to push through. Though I was hoping to finish the cutting portion of the project on this day, I was interrupted by the five o’clock Makerspace closure—an unavoidable roadblock.
Sunday, Mar. 15
Since my flight to El Salvador departed at 4:45 p.m., I had a few hours to kill before I needed to leave for the airport. Feeling like the biggest nerd for being in the almost empty SEC building during the weekend of break, I finished the last two holes. I now had four 1⅛- inch holes ready for my secret sauce.
I decided I was not going to cut four shot-sized holes into a ski; that would be too easy. I cooked up a plan to epoxy magnets into the holes. Though this goes beyond the traditional call of duty, I wanted to be able to clean the shot glasses, while ensuring a strong bond for safe (even drunken) use. Before catching my flight, I laid the ski out on my dorm room floor and left it to cure for eight days—note that I also taped over the backside of the holes and placed the entire project on top of a ripped garbage bag.
I rolled my suitcase out the door and caught a final glimpse of the window I had left cracked before praying that nothing would go wrong.
Monday, Mar. 23
When I returned from my trip, I found the shotski lying right where I left it with solid, dry epoxy. But upon further inspection, I found that the magnets, which had successfully set at the bottom of the ski, were not strong enough to hold the shot glasses—this was tested by supergluing washers to the bottom of the shot glasses and finding that they would not hold. I told myself that this was ok; engineering is about making mistakes. Just like my “Mechanics of Solids” midterm, sometimes you fail. I decided to sleep on it and solve the problem the next morning.
Tuesday, Mar. 24
The solution I ended up with at 9 a.m. was just gluing magnets onto the ski over the epoxy-filled holes are. I stuck the shots on, and boom, it worked like magic. If I gaslight myself, I can confidently say the epoxy provided a clean flat surface for the magnets to rest on; if I am being honest, I essentially eliminated any need for my drilling work.
For now, my shotski is finished and ready for action this Thursday night. But just like any project, I have a list of things I want to improve: paint the ski, 3D print cup holders for the shots that prevent any movement, and probably more I’ll think of. And while the ending wasn’t exactly the look I wanted, I adapted and made God’s greatest gift to mankind: a shotski.
To any freshman partaking in River Run, let this serve as a testament to the blood, sweat, and tears (actually none of these) that go into making this the best night of your year. All in good fun, Happy Housing Day, and for those who celebrate—sorry, quad people—Happy River Run.
The 4x black diamond can’t confirm or deny if he has ever used a shotski.