Sex Ed at Four? The Dutch Say Ja

This past summer, I visited Amsterdam. Stepping off the Eurostar, I was met by swarms of bikers and numerous incredibly stylish, tall pedestrians. I immediately felt the city’s vibrancy—held together by a culture of openness and a little bit of weed.

One of my favorite moments from the trip was a bike tour. My guide, Kendra, was hilarious, rambling on about her dominatrix friend who had a two-week waitlist of men who paid her to kick them in the balls. While we were stopped outside the NEMO (From Latin: ‘Nobody’) Science Museum, Kendra told us about an exhibit that introduces kids to the concepts of sex and love.

This culture of sex positivity, particularly with younger kids, fascinated me. Sex was not taboo here; it was part of the curriculum. The Dutch exemplify how comprehensive sex education at a young age promotes healthy and safe sexuality, and the United States, with no federal mandate and shrinking abortion access, should follow their lead.

The Netherlands requires sex education by law for primary and secondary school students. Many schools use the Kriebels in je buik (“Butterflies in your belly”) method starting at age 4. Kriebels in je buik seeks to increase students’ knowledge, attitudes, and skills related to sexuality and relational development. Secondary school (starting at age 12) switches to the Lang Leve de Liefde (“Long Live Love”) approach, exploring love, relationships, and sex.

Inside the classroom, 84% of Dutch students learned about contraceptives and condoms, 73% about reproduction and abortion, and 49% about STIs and HIV. Exhibits like “Humania” at the NEMO Science Museum further this education. “Humania” targets secondary school students, diving deep into sexuality, gender identity, sexual orientation, and consent.

At one interactive station called “Tongue Kiss with a Foreigner,” visitors put their hands into tongue puppets to simulate French kissing. The exhibit also contains a tank of white goo visualizing “a lifetime’s manufacture of semen.” More highlights include a video about orgasms, a novelty condom display, and a guide to good sex printed in Dutch and English. The guide emphasizes the importance of communication between romantic partners.

What is more awesome than a giant container of (fake) semen? Its results. By promoting consent and sexual safety before the onset of sexual activity, early sex education helps decrease rates of STIs, HIV, and sexual violence.

Sex education gives teenagers the proper communication skills to assert their boundaries and make personal choices. A study by Rutgers, a Dutch NFO focused on sex education, found that robust sex education decreased psychological abuse and sexual violence.

The rate of teenage birth in the Netherlands is low, too. In 2024, 1.75 per 1,000 women aged 15-19 gave birth. This number is down from about 4 per 1,000 women in 2012, the year sex education became more legally enforced in the Netherlands. By comparison, the United States had around 12.7 births per 1,000 women in 2024—over seven times the Dutch rate.

This gap is likely not a coincidence. Considering the gaps in American sex education and abortion policy, these numbers are unsurprising. There is no federal mandate for sex education in the United States. Only 42 states require public school students to take sex education that covers at least one topic. Of these states, only 19 require medically accurate instruction. And 34 states allow parents to prevent their children from receiving any sex education.

“Decisions are often left up to individual school districts, creating a patchwork of inconsistent policies and practices within states,” Planned Parenthood explains, acknowledging district discretion even with state regulations. Plus, private schools and public institutions with more funding can offer more robust programming, further widening this gap.

Comprehensive sex education reduces unplanned pregnancies, but when one does occur, access to abortion matters. In the United States, that access is shrinking. In the Netherlands, abortion is legal and free of charge. Since the 2022 overturning of Roe v. Wade, abortion is fully legal with “expanded access” in only 11 states.

Abortion is completely illegal in 13 states, and 12 states are hostile, meaning abortion could soon be banned in those regions. Moreover, insurance does not always cover abortion services; in 2021-2022 alone, 53% of people covered the bill themselves.

We need an American federal mandate on comprehensive, medically accurate sex education that begins at a younger age. Decreased abortion accessibility jeopardizes the ability to correct for the results of gaps in education, like unprotected sex. By beginning sex education before sexual experimentation begins, we can ensure that more kids approach sex safely.

That said, standardizing and managing the implementation of sex education is challenging. School curricula will never be perfect, especially given that American schools already have large quality disparities by district.

We can, however, mend these educational discontinuities by changing attitudes at home. When parents teach their kids about sex early, framing it positively rather than pushing abstinence, they can help fill gaps in formal sex education. The discussion should not be limited to one brief “sex talk.” Rather, conversations around sex should be an ongoing dialogue between the parents and their child. Dutch kids even prefer learning about sex from their parents.

Still, some parents may postpone the “sex talk,” arguing that exposure to sex at a younger age causes sexual activity too early. And some parents simply tell their kids not to have sex.

Rutgers outlines how better sex education actually causes teenagers to postpone having sex: waiting allows for a positive experience that matches their sexual needs. Indeed, only 15% of Dutch boys and 16% of Dutch girls had sex by age 15. On the other hand, pushing abstinence negatively impacts sexual health—despite 34 American states mandating such instruction.

Contrary to popular belief, early sex education does not mean more sex at a young age. Early education does mean safer sex, healthier relationships, and less sexual violence. So, let us learn from the Dutch and talk about sex, baby.

Zoë Macklowe ’30 (zmacklowe@college.harvard.edu) wants to go back to Amsterdam ASAP.