Something “Wicker” This Way Cums

“I heard that he’s strong as a tree and just as hard.”

This week I had the pleasure of watching the recently released film “Wicker,” starring Olivia Colman and Alexander Skarsgård. The movie adapts Ursula Wills’s 14-page 2008 short story, “The Wicker Husband.” The plot follows a lonely fisherwoman living in a small village who commissions herself a husband from the master basket weaver (Peter Dinklage). This husband, standing ten feet tall, is made of wicker. Imbued with life, this wicker man can walk, talk, and function like anyone else in the village. When they officially wed at the altar, they forgo the town’s metal “marriage collar” norm and begin living as equal partners.

Since the film’s release on Oct. 23, “Wicker” has already generated a significant online following and inspired some rather unusual reactions. Skarsgård’s character, the Wicker Husband, has quickly become what one could only describe as a sex symbol.

For those unfamiliar with the film, it seems quite unexpected that a sentient wicker basket would inspire such lust and horniness. However, after seeing his skills on the big screen, I can confidently say it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “morning wood.” After all, what is more sexy than a strong man who can throw you around and quite literally break the bed? The Wicker Husband does that and more, satisfying his wife to the point that the townspeople worry about the sounds of screaming at night. We discover he’s well-endowed in more ways than one as he continuously repairs the broken bed and does expert handiwork around their home.

The power of “good wick” is evident as the audience watches the Fisherwoman transform from a withdrawn spinster into a confident and joyful woman. “He straightened me right out,” she says to her fellow townspeople as they question her new attitude. The other wives in the village are visibly jealous as they realize their husbands’ (literal) shortcomings. They, too, wish they could get wicked down, and they resent her for the pleasure they can’t have.

One scene reveals this exact dynamic: we see the Bottlewasher’s wife stone-faced and silent during sex with her husband, clearly not enjoying it in any way. In truth, this feels all too relatable to the real-life issue of many men only caring about themselves during sex. Often, women’s pleasure can be disregarded by their partners or not considered a relevant priority. The failure and absence of intimacy rooted in the villagers’ relationships is not foreign to many of our own lives, and it contributes to the film’s resonance.

In all fairness, it would be misleading to attribute the Fisherwoman’s character evolution only to the miracle of good sex. The Wicker Husband frequently professes his care and love for his wife in poetic descriptions of devotion. “You are the reason I breathe and live,” he proclaims to the Fisherwoman while the other husbands in town criticize and complain about their wives. This combination of both emotional and physical satisfaction is a testament to his character. The Wicker Husband embodies the ideal man, even though he is not a human man in the traditional sense. This is what truly earns him the title of sexual icon.

Perhaps inevitably, the Wicker Husband’s arrival triggers a cascade of events that reveals the true nature of the townspeople’s lives and marriages. You can feel the growing tension on screen as their jealousy runs rampant. Unsurprisingly, all the men worry their wives will leave them, so they literally climb that tree. A casual conversation between the husbands in the local tavern develops into a chaotic mess when the Baker frantically begs the Wicker Husband to fuck his wife. The repetition of this absurdity only adds to the cynical humor.

If I were acting in this scene, I personally couldn’t have kept a straight face. Luckily, Skarsgård’s woven prosthetic makeup is as effective as Botox at keeping a straight face. Even more importantly, the Wicker Husband, in his perfection, does not betray his wife, but the townspeople nevertheless spread rumors of his infidelity. To feel better about their own unfulfilling lives, they try to ruin the marriage and destroy the Fisherwoman’s happiness. They ultimately fail, and we as the audience rejoice.

The climax comes when the Basket Weaver announces his retirement, proclaiming that whoever brings him the best gift in a week will receive his new creation: a Wicker Woman. And so, excluding the Tailor because his wife is so beautiful, every man in the village, even those married, brings their best gift to the sendoff. By this point in the movie, I don’t think anyone in the audience was too surprised to see the men acting this way. However, shock does ensue when the Tailor’s wife puts in her own bid, declaring her intent to flee the town with her sister and leave the Wicker Husband to deal with her husband and kids. Unfortunately, her dreams of a child-free future are crushed when the Butcher ultimately wins the contest thanks to his large bag of coins. Yet when he steps up to claim his prize, horrific irony is unveiled.

Whereas the Wicker Husband was made from soft willow, the Wicker Woman was made from sharp blackthorn. Screams of pain echo from the Butcher as she envelops him in her thorny embrace, and the film concludes. And yet, in the face of his suffering, this cruel twist seems well deserved because, just before the competition, the Butcher locked his young wife in their cellar. At least now we can hope she finds a partner who actually respects her.

“Wicker” was a truly comedic and erotic breath of fresh air, but it also offers several relevant takeaways for our own lives. It’s safe to say that finding ourselves our own wicker husband in the literal sense might be a bit difficult. I’m not aware of any basket makers who can give inanimate objects life. Nevertheless, this film serves as a cautionary tale of accepting the status quo and, conversely, a message of hope.

Social norms and the pressure to conform can powerfully inhibit change. In the case of the film, the townspeople, specifically the wives, expected unfair and unhappy partnerships. It was just the nature of their lives. Yet when they finally encountered a fulfilling relationship, they shunned it and tried to destroy it because it violated their norms. This reaction is what we should watch out for. Not everything unfamiliar is bad, and something different may actually be better. With this in mind, we should always strive toward our best possible future, in relationships and elsewhere, and not remain unduly bound to what we know. Sometimes, this might mean a wicker man to show us the way. It’s up to us to follow the wick.

Taylor Thorne ’28 (taylorthorne@college.harvard.edu) has recently developed an interest in basket weaving.