“Harvard Independent” Bar Review

When people hear the name Harvard, they think of prestige, education, talent, or drive. While these are certainly true of some of the school’s population, others recognize that Harvard’s real best quality is its wide range of bars.

Unfortunately, it is nearly impossible for an undergraduate student to take proper advantage of these alcoholic lounges. Most students do not turn 21 until sometime during junior or senior year. By then, there are only so many nights left for college debauchery in Cambridge. And since every Harvard student is a good, law-abiding citizen who would never use an illicit fake ID, how can they most efficiently take advantage of the short time they have to gallivant around the bars?

To answer this question, the “Harvard Independent” has deployed its best bar connoisseurs to give you a guide to the do’s and don’ts for your average night out full of drinking, games, friends, and flirting.

“Ask not what [Harvard Square bars] can do for you—ask what you can do for your [Harvard Square bars]” – The President of the “Harvard Independent.”

Cambridge Commons

For river dwellers, the walk up to Porter is seemingly a major downside of Cambridge Commons, but that stroll might be the area’s biggest strength. Sometimes the best part of the night is the jaunt to the next stop, conversing with friends while taking quick cigarette drags.

TJYG: I first noticed the music filling the air: some classic alt-rock. I was taken back to first grade, listening to the music my dad had on the radio as he took me to school. That illusion quickly dissolved—beer punch wasn’t quite part of my childhood. The lovely waitress suggested I order the Gin Blossom: elderflower liqueur, and you can probably guess the other ingredient. The cocktail was quite refreshing (as expected with gin), but I felt more like I was frolicking in a garden than drinking on a Thursday night. I opted for a beer next and was presented with a dirty cup. Thanks, Cambridge Commons!

LG: Most bars in Cambridge are very strict about following Massachusetts drinking laws—Cambridge Commons is no different. We all got individual drinks, but we were not allowed to order a pitcher for the table until someone had first killed the drink in front of them. This led to a very awkward start to our game of 7/11/Doubles (slevs), because we were chugging before the dice even started rolling. The restaurant has ample room for large groups, which is good because you will not be making any friends here. Definitely best to come with people you already know can bring the energy, because everything else about this place falls flat.

PBR: My hopes were high for Cambridge Commons. This place was nearly empty. But for some reason, we still had to wait about 10 minutes for the waitress to come around. Not a great start. I felt a bit better after my cider arrived, filled to the brim—definitely getting your bang for your buck here. By the end of our stay, all I had enjoyed was the drinking game we were playing, since the bar itself was both dead and full of older adults. Cool spot if you are over 30 and love abiding by Massachusetts regulation 204 CMR 4.03.

Burger: I met my new best friend. He was a bartender wearing a Pearl Jam jersey shirt, bought at a show in Wisconsin.

Lou’s

Just because it is a newer establishment doesn’t mean Lou’s doesn’t offer quality. Patrons can expect live music, good vibes—and apparently beautiful older women—for the low, low price of $17 for a signature cocktail. Still, the drinks and conversation flowed just fine. Among the five of us, we have been to Lou’s on every day of the week. None of them promise a packed night.

TJYG: Lou’s exudes class and confidence. You feel as though you are in New York, not Cambridge. But if I wanted the Big Apple, I would have gone to school there. The bartender was also reluctant to suggest something, but eventually relented and chose the Buenas Tardes Amigo. While the drink was delicious and a favorite of the night, the atmosphere could have been better.

LG: This was my second time at Lou’s in 24 hours. Both times, the cocktails I consumed gave me happy tingles. Our group wasn’t given a table (despite many empty ones), but our perch at the bar was the perfect place to chat with fellow patrons. As the token lady in the group, another boozer approached me almost immediately, looking to make friends. Her friend, it seems, had already found companionship in the form of a 50-year-old man with a hefty bar tab (one of only three of his kind at Lou’s that night! Normally, there are more). Beware: Do not let the man behind the booth trick you into thinking he is a real disc jockey. He plays off his laptop and uses a digital vinyl system.

PBR: I was impressed with Lou’s. I love a bar with couches, which are among humanity’s greatest innovations. While we couldn’t actually use the (empty) couches due to “seating capacity,” standing at the bar still proved to be a great time. My cider tasted great, and the tunes were fantastic. Any bar that plays music from Kanye West’s “Late Registration” is a 10/10 in my book.

Felipe’s Taqueria

Best known for its rooftop bar, icy drinks, and long lines, Felipe’s is also apparently a food establishment that specializes in Mexican cuisine. If you are a fan of Jefe’s or Chipotle and are also an alcoholic, then this is the place for you. Come one, come all, from 10:30 a.m. to 2 a.m.

LG: 3 p.m. The sun is out. The margaritas are frozen (and very strong). Chips and guac are delivered tableside. “Doses and Mimosas” plays in my head while Bad Bunny actually blasts on the speakers. Although I always run into at least a few Harvard heads here, most of the crowd has Ubered in, and it only grows as the night goes on. Not the type of place you would ever want to wait in line for past sunset.

PBR: If a person is in Harvard Square on a Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday; is at least 21 years old and is willing and able to drink; has at least one friend of a similar standing; and is there before 6 p.m.; then that person must drink on Felipe’s rooftop. Felipe’s is the perfect place to begin a day of debauchery, but, as LG describes, not where you want to end your night. Unless you really like waiting in lines.

TJYG: “I got my toes in the [sunshine], ass [on a bench] / Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand / Life is good today, life is good today.”

Grendel’s Den Restaurant & Bar

It is Grendel’s—you know the deal.

LG: What more needs to be said about a classic like Grendel’s? My favorite day of the week is Grensdays, and my second favorite is whichever day I choose to bring my hot-date-of-the-week to Grendel’s. If you are there, tell Blake I say hi.

DBH: Whether I’m craving an ice-cold beer, sangria, or a mixed drink, Grendel’s has it. It is a spot freshmen and seniors alike agree on.

PBR: Never come here before 2 p.m. You will regret it.

Grafton Street Pub & Grill

When it comes to bars located in Harvard Square that start with the letter G, Grafton’s is definitely in the top two. With the energy of Grendel’s hotter older sister, Grafton’s is where underage college students (not from Harvard, obviously) and overaged alums find a way to thrive together.

DBH: Oh, Grafton’s, one of my first loves. We used to have this awkward relationship where you would deny my fake every time. Despite all my efforts, you were my rejection therapy. All it took was maturing (and maybe turning 21) for you to see the person I truly am.

Burger: I am going to take this as an opportunity to formally apologize to one of Grafton’s bartenders who has been harboring a vehement hatred of me since March. In my defense, I thought the limes in the bowl on the bar were for people to take and put in their drinks. I probably shouldn’t have taken a fistful of limes, and I definitely shouldn’t have put them back in the bowl when that bartender gave me a death stare. That is on me. Sorry. Grafton’s is a great spot, and they are willing to forgive morbid stupidity.

PBR: Grafton’s is a classic Harvard Square bar. Unlike at Grendel’s, you can bring your family here for lunch. Do NOT try to do the same at Grendel’s. But beware: If you drink too many Guinnesses here, you may accidentally throw up in the bathroom. Not completely sure if the relationship is causal yet.

LG: Great place to throw up after taking too many shots at the open bar (PBR and I have a couple of things in common, it seems). If it is a Grafton’s birthday, it is a happy one. Maybe too happy—I have witnessed more than a few couples get escorted out for excessive PDA in the red-lit back booths.

Shay’s Pub & Wine Bar

You have likely passed by Shay’s often, thinking, Whoa! Black Sheep Bagel looks different today! Home to the elders of the Square, it is a small spot that boasts 10 beers on tap, 28 wines, and a handful of classic bar snacks.

LG: Shay’s is the type of place that makes it feel cool to do drugs in its bathroom (probably because, allegedly, one of the bartenders used to sell drugs out of it). I prefer to go here when the sun is out and you can people-watch outside with a chilled glass of the house Sauvy B. The crowd skews much older. Not great for big groups.

TJYG: There is something special about enjoying a nice drink with a subtle breeze in your face. The outdoor seating gives the perfect opportunity to enjoy the autumn air while still satiating your thirst. The Maker’s Old Fashioned was recommended to me, and it did not disappoint. A pun may be Irish in spirit, but a well-made bourbon cocktail never goes out of style, and Shay’s delivers.

Burger: The first time I went to Shay’s was a complete accident. I walked by the bar when someone I only sort of knew grabbed my arm. I was pulled onto a chair, asked if I wanted a vape, a cigarette, or a cigar, and then was forcibly kept there for the next hour and a half (I tried to leave several times, to no avail). I am not sure whether that says more about me, the people who grabbed me, or Shay’s as a whole, but that is my experience.

The Sea Hag Restaurant & Bar

This new spot seems to be a fan favorite of first-year students who were recently seen standing outside Hasty Pudding at 7 p.m. on a Tuesday. The outside bar is now open, making it an ideal drinking spot any day from 11:30 a.m. to 1 a.m.

TJYG: No one likes to wait, and at the Sea Hag, you will rarely find yourself in line. Ample seating, if a little tight, and good energy make for a great place to catch up with friends after days of grueling p-sets. Frankly, I do not remember what I was drinking; I was too busy hanging out with my buddies.

Burger: I only discovered the Sea Hag last semester, and I wish I had found it earlier. Probably my favorite bar in the Square. Great vibes, great drinks, friendly people, and the chance to run into people you didn’t expect to see (but in a good way, like a sleep-deprived Colin Jost who buys a round of shots for the group). It will not be a rager, but it will be cozy. They also serve delicious food during the day—this is a great place for a hungover brunch.

DBH: It is a restaurant conveniently located by my dorm; they sell beer. I really have no other thoughts on the matter—you will still find me here weekly.

The Cellar

If you are looking for the definition of “a hole-in-the-wall,” look no further than The Cellar—well, OK, it is technically a “hole in the ground.” With cash only, $3 PBR, a bartender who seems to sample a lot of his craft, and a clientele that will leave you scratching your head, The Cellar has it all and more.

LG: Not a single comfortable seat in the whole concrete jail cell. Spacious bathroom, thank God.

DBH: For my fellow price-conscious consumers, look no further. The Cellar is a gem in the Square. It feels niche because it has few patrons, but it is well known; people just don’t want to make the trek.

PBR: Upon entering the Cellar, I thought that I had accidentally walked too far and stumbled into a bar in Eastern Europe. I entered a cave of sorts. The bartender didn’t seem to speak English—or maybe he was unimpressed by my slurred speech as I ordered five shots, so he chose to remain nonverbal throughout the transaction. The Cellar’s aesthetic is what makes it stand out to me, although the crowd was odd. I think I would need to come here at least three more times to understand what types of people they are catering to.

Burger: At this point in the night, you could have taken me to a literal cellar in Mattapan, and I would not have been able to tell the difference. I was in a cruising mood and willing to talk to anyone. This, as it turned out, was a good thing, because a group of eclectic, shockingly well-dressed people was also having a night for themselves at the Cellar. LG and I spoke with them for about 10–15 minutes, and all I could glean from that entire conversation was that these folks were something called TPOT, or “That Part of Twitter.” What part of Twitter, I do not know, despite repeatedly asking for clarification, but they had a large rubber duck they were passing around, so maybe that had something to do with it.

TJYG: How did we get here?

…

At the end of the night, a bar is a bar. You go with good company, and sometimes you meet new company. You get a drink, and no matter the quality, you have alcohol in your bloodstream. Bartenders, whether they like you or not, will serve you a drink, as long as you can keep it down. We hold these truths to be self-evident. Thus, look back to the imperative we opened with: What can you do for your Harvard Square bars? We find that our duty is to patronize. For you, a call to action. Go forth and get drunk.

The “Harvard Independent” Bar Connoisseurs are looking for hot plus-ones of any gender to join them on our next crawl. Inquiries only to: +1 (347) 681-0005.